An often-unnoticed discrepancy
What if the hardest part of menopause isn't just the symptoms... but the lack of understanding from those around you, especially your partner?
Menopause is a natural stage in a woman’s life. However, it is accompanied by physical and emotional changes that can sometimes be intense and can profoundly disrupt daily life.
In France, nearly 14 million women are going through menopause or perimenopause (source: INSERM). Despite this, the topic is still not discussed enough.
According to the French National Health Insurance, more than 75% of women experience hot flashes, sometimes several times a day, and nearly 50% have sleep disturbances (source: ameli.fr). When these symptoms accumulate, they can lead to chronic fatigue and affect mood, concentration, and social life.
And yet, many women still feel that they are not understood. This disconnect can lead to tension, loneliness, and genuine unhappiness within the relationship.
What men don't always understand (but which changes everything)
“It’s not all in your head”
This is often where it all begins. Menopausal symptoms are neither exaggerated nor imaginary. They are directly linked to significant hormonal changes, particularly a drop in estrogen levels. These fluctuations affect body temperature regulation, sleep, and even emotions.
According to INSERM, up to 80% of women experience symptoms related to menopause. For those who do, it is not merely a minor inconvenience. It is a physical reality that can sometimes be difficult to manage.
Unpredictability is exhausting
A day can seem perfectly normal, then suddenly take a turnfor the worse. An intense hot flash, sudden fatigue, or unusual irritability can strike without warning.
According to the French National College of Gynecologists and Obstetricians, some women may experience several hot flashes a day, making it difficult to plan their daily routines.
It’s not just upsetting for those around her. Above all, it’s incredibly difficult for the person going through it.
Our bodies change, and so does the way we see ourselves
Menopause isn't just about visible physical symptoms. It also affects self-image.
The body changes, sometimes rapidly. Weight gain, changes in skin texture, a decrease in libido… these are all changes that can affect one’s self-image.
These changes, which often occur quietly, can undermine trust and create a sense of disorientation.
Fatigue isn't "just fatigue"
Sometimes getting to sleep can be a challenge.
Waking up during the night, night sweats, and difficulty falling asleep can severely disrupt sleep. According to the French National Authority for Health, 40 to 60% of postmenopausal women suffer from sleep disorders.
In the long run, this leads to persistent fatigue, which affects one’s patience, energy, and ability to manage emotions.
Menopause symptoms: a reality that is often underestimated
Not all women experience menopause in the same way. But in most cases, several symptoms may occur at the same time.
Physically, hot flashes and night sweats are the most common symptoms. They may be accompanied by fatigue, joint pain, headaches, palpitations, or dizziness. Some women also experience weight gain or digestive problems.
Emotionally, changes may develop gradually. Irritability, anxiety, low mood, and hypersensitivity are common. It may become harder to concentrate, and managing stress can also be more difficult.
Sleep is often disrupted. Nights become shorter and less restful, which exacerbates overall fatigue.
Finally, intimacy may be affected, leading to a decreased sex drive, vaginal dryness, or discomfort.
According to INSERM and the French National Health Insurance, these symptoms can last an average of 4 to 5 years, and sometimes longer.
How to offer practical help (without going overboard)
You might think that everything needs to be changed or that complex solutions are required. In reality, it’s often the simplest actions that make the difference.
Being truly present is essential. Listen without interrupting, without trying to correct or downplay what’s being said. Sometimes, a simple phrase is enough to bring comfort. Just saying “I’m here” can already provide relief.
Adjusting your environment can also have a tangible impact. A well-ventilated room, a comfortable temperature, and a moment of calm can help you cope better with certain symptoms.
It’s also important not to take everything personally. Some reactions are due to hormonal fluctuations, not the relationship itself.
Ultimately, offering support without imposing your will remains the best approach. Suggest solutions, yes. Impose them, no. Every woman experiences this time in her own way.
Mistakes that hurt (often unintentionally)
Some phrases, even those that seem harmless, can be hard to hear.
Saying things like “You’re overreacting,” “That’s normal at your age,” or “It’ll pass” can make her feel like what she’s going through isn’t being taken seriously.
Ignoring the issue can also make you feel even lonelier.
Menopause doesn’t need to be downplayed. It needs to be understood.
Gift ideas that really make a difference
It doesn't necessarily have to be something expensive. What matters is the thought behind it.
An item that helps you cope better with hot flashes—such as a quiet fan or a cooling mist—can make your daily life much more comfortable. A good pillow can improve the quality of your sleep.
Natural remedies such as soothing herbal teas or certain supplements can also be helpful.
And then there are more innovative solutions designed specifically to address hot flashes.
It is with this in mind that Héra was designed—a portable cold therapy device developed in France. The principle is simple yet highly effective: applying targeted cold (between 5°C and 10°C) to areas such as the back of the neck, the face, or the wrists to stop a hot flash in a matter of seconds.
Compact, discreet, and easy to use, Héra helps you regain control almost instantly, even in the middle of the day. It’s a unique, practical gift that truly resonates with what women actually experience during this time.
Offering this kind of solution goes beyond mere symbolism. It shows that we understand… and that we’re taking action. (Héra)
Why we need to talk about it more
The silence surrounding menopause still leads to a great deal of misunderstanding.
According to IFOP, one in two women believes that menopause is still a taboo subject in France.
This silence can intensify feelings of loneliness, doubt, and sometimes even shame.
In reality, however, it is a normal part of life. Talking about it helps us understand it better, provide better support, and, above all, ensure that women no longer have to go through this period alone.
FAQ: Understanding Menopause Without Taboos
How long does menopause last?
Menopause is part of a process that can last several years. Between perimenopause and postmenopause, some women experience symptoms for 5 to 10 years.
Do all women experience symptoms?
No. Some women experience very few changes, while others may have more intense symptoms. Everyone’s experience is different.
What are the most common symptoms?
The most common symptoms include hot flashes, sleep disturbances, fatigue, and mood swings. But there are many other possible symptoms.
How should you respond to a hot flash?
Stay calm, offer some fresh air, and don’t overreact. Being there and showing understanding are often more important than taking action.
Can menopause affect a couple?
Yes, especially due to fatigue, irritability, or changes in intimacy. But good communication can often help strengthen the relationship.
Is there a natural way to relieve symptoms?
Yes, certain lifestyle habits, a balanced diet, or natural remedies can help improve your daily well-being.
Why is menopause still a taboo subject?
Because it touches on intimacy, the body, and age. But attitudes are changing, and people are gradually becoming more open about it.
Menopause isn't just a biological transition. It's a time of transformation—sometimes confusing, often quiet.
What many men don't immediately realize is that behind the symptoms lies a profound experience that deserves to be acknowledged.
Listen, understand, be there…
It’s often the simplest things that have the greatest impact.
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